I drove my daughter to Jade’s funeral today. It seemed wrong to be driving a teenager to her friend’s funeral, but I guess it happens.
There was a large, hand-drawn sign on the front of Jade’s house. In multi-colored letters it read, “Jade: We love you. You will be missed.” It was a large funeral, actually, with lots of decorations, a big, temporary tent, and plenty of people with tears in their eyes.
I didn’t attend, but my daughter said it was open casket.
A friend of my daughter was murdered last night. She was just 16 years old. Her brother stabbed her and a friend who was with her. The friend is fighting for her life in hospital.
What I can’t get over is the fact that my daughter slept over at this friend’s place a few times. The friend’s friend, the one who was stabbed and is fighting for her life in hospital, could easily be my daughter.
(I wrote the above the day after it happened. It’s now a few days later and I guess I’ll finish this blog entry and post it.)
I just checked Google news for an update. There’s nothing new. I have to say, though, that looking over all the headlines felt a little surreal.
“16-year-old teenage girl stabbed to death on Tsawwassen reserve: police”
“Teenager charged with murder after girl’s fatal stabbing”
“17-year-old male charged with murder, attempted murder in Tsawwassen …”
“Stabbing suspect believed to be slain girl’s 17-year-old brother”
“Girl dead, one critically hurt in Tsawwassen stabbing”
Is this really about the beautiful girl who was once good friends with my daughter? A girl who slept in my daughter’s bedroom?
It’s been a few days now and I am still absolutely shocked. This sort of thing just doesn’t happen.
This murder is the latest chapter in a sad, sad, story. (Please keep in mind that much of what follows is hearsay.)
Jade’s mother was struck and killed by a motor vehicle some years ago. Her father had trouble dealing with it and Jade was placed in foster care. It was while Jade was in foster care, that Jade and my daughter met and became good friends. Jade was unhappy in foster care, however, and wanted very much to move back in with her dad. Eventually, that was allowed to happen, and Jade moved to Tsawwassen, where her dad lived.
My daughter and Jade continued to be friends and I made quite a few trips out to Tsawwassen, which is a long drive. On my first trip out I went in to meet the Dad, as parents are wont to do, and he seemed like a nice enough guy. The word was that he and his brother owned Splashdown Park, a waterslide park in Tsawwassen. I don’t know how true that is, but my daughter was Jade’s guest at the waterslides several times.
I never met Jade’s brother. I never even knew there was a brother. He did not live with his Dad. I’m hearing now that he was really messed up and there was a restraining order against him. Supposedly he was off his meds, waited until the father left the house, and then showed up demanding money. When he didn’t get it he stabbed Jade and her friend. Jade died shortly thereafter, and her friend is in critical condition in hospital but is expected to live.
If there is one small, silver lining in all of this it’s that Jade and my daughter had grown apart somewhat over the last year or so. Jade disappeared for a time. Ostensibly she went back east for a while, to live with a relative, but who knows.
Nonetheless, my daughter is understandably quite upset. She, of course, got the news via facebook shortly after it happened.
I feel terrible for Jade, who had her whole life ahead of her. I also feel terrible for her Dad, who has now lost a wife, a daughter, and, to a degree, a son as well. The whole thing is just so tragic.
And yet another reminder of just how fragile life is.
I hope everyone had a nice Valentine’s day yesterday. It was a fairly normal day for me, except for the fact that my wife and I exchanged chocolates.
Yes, my wife gave me a box of chocolates. Sixteen orbs of hazelnut sprinkled chocolaty goodness. Each one with a creamy center and a single crunchy hazelnut inside. Ferrero Roche, as she knows, is one of my favorites. I thanked her profusely, of course, but I couldn’t help but think about my diet. This was going to be bad. I just knew this was going to be very bad. The problem is that I’m really good at talking myself into eating stuff.
I put the sealed box of chocolates in a cupboard and thought about what I should do with it.
That was yesterday. Here’s how today went.
MORNING: (Pulls box out of cupboard.) You’re not really going to throw these away are you Dave? You might as well open that package and have your first two. Remember though: just 2 per day, for about 150 calories each day. That’s a good snack. That won’t be too bad for the diet. Oh, wait, the box says 3 of them is 220 calories, so that’s the suggested serving. Okay, that’s a little much for a snack, but not too bad. It’s doable. (eats 3).
EARLY EVENING: Hmmm. I should have some kind of afternoon snack. I’m going for a run later, so I might as well have a few more of those Ferrero Roches. It’s a bit much, but I am going for a run, so no biggie. (eats 3)
AN HOUR LATER: Okay, it’s time for my run. I think I’ll eat something for a little extra energy. Might as well get rid of a few more of those Ferrero Roches. (eats 3)
TWO MINUTES LATER: You know, I’m going to burn more than 220 calories on my run. It wouldn’t hurt to to have 1 more. (eats 1)
TEN SECONDS LATER: Groups of 3! It has to be groups of 3. It says so right on the box. (eats 2)
TWO SECONDS LATER: Hmmm. That leaves a group of 4. That’s not a group of 3. There’s an extra one! Better fix it. (eats 1)
ONE SECOND LATER: On the other hand, I prefer even numbers. And two of these would make a nice light snack for tomorrow. (eats 1, puts box away)
THREE MINUTES LATER: Are you really going to torture yourself with those last two Ferroro Roches? They’re just sitting there, waiting to be eaten. You might as well get this over with. (eats last 2)
(***sigh***) And that’s how they all get eaten in one day. That’s also why I never buy stuff like this.
I’ve had this nagging pain in my upper right abdomen, just under the ribcage, for quite a few months now. The intensity varies, but it’s generally always there. Located in this area is the bottom of one’s liver, the gallbladder, and the duodenum. Because I was diagnosed with a duodenal ulcer a few years ago, I assumed that’s what the problem was. However, recent events have caused me to re-evaluate.
Last Saturday afternoon the pain became gradually worse as the day progressed. By evening the pain was quite intense. It’s hard to quantify, but I’ve been referring to it as “fairly intense.” It wasn’t intense enough to head to emergency, but it was intense enough to make me think about it. I also had some tummy pain, abdominal bloating, and lower back pain on the right side. No other symptoms.
As usual I blamed it all on my duodenal ulcer (which may or may not still be there, I have no idea), and wondered just what I ate to bring all this on.
Here’s the weird thing, though: the next day the pain went away. Today, two days later, I feel fine. In fact, there is no pain at all anymore. Obviously, this is unlikely to be due to a duodenal ulcer. They just don’t heal this fast. My rapid recovery has me now thinking my pain was related to a stone. Either a gallstone or a kidney stone. The lower back pain tends to indicate a kidney stone, but the pain in front seems to be more where the gallbladder is located.
In any case, if the pain comes back I’ll definitely be heading to the doctor. This has to be sorted out.
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